The Lighthouse Journal

My first introduction to Holly Humberstone was with the release of the “Beauty Pageant” music video, the final single for the British singer’s third album, Cruel World. Shot on film cameras, the video opens to an old Hollywood aesthetic. Glittery performers rush around preparing for a show while Holly stands bejeweled in a diamond headdress. It feels like a fairytale. Holly stares wistfully into the camera with downcast eyes and sings:

So it starts with a girl
In a bar, and she’s singing from the heart
Glitter curtain, sticky floors
She would die for the applause

There is something off about this fairytale, however. Holly makes her way over to a window (clearly a fake set) and half-heartedly caresses the white hydrangeas beneath it. The flowers represent purity, grace, abundance, and vanity—hallmarks of the young starlet in old Hollywood. But Holly looks absolutely miserable as she continues the first verse and enters the chorus.

Twenty-five, still alive
You’ll find me chronically online
Dry my tears, I’m good to go

‘Cause I’m too young, too sad
Too numb to give a damn
I’ll strike a pose, I’m ready
Come on and make me pretty

While “Beauty Pageant” functions as a meta take on living and working within the music industry, it also serves as a metaphor for being young, full of love, addicted to your phone, and searching for authenticity in the noise of life. On this record, Holly represents the barely adults, glued to our devices and fire-hosed by an endless stream of political upheaval, war, negativity you name it. And somehow, we get up, wipe our eyes, and go out to learn how to live anyway. Cruel World is about learning to pursue your fairytale in the face of the modern world.

I really enjoyed the production on this record. It’s lush, percussive, and natural with synthesizers and metal guitars and string instruments like the viola and cello. The mix of old and new instrumentation blends into a sonic landscape that feels like a throwback and quirky. A saxophone even shows up in a song appropriately titled “Red Chevy”. The instrumentation serves the lyrics and helps Holly paint a rich world within her songs without overwhelming them. It is cohesive without becoming muddled or boring.

Overall, Holly is a talented lyricist. She manages to find a nice balance of sincerity, sadness, and sass. Nor does she hesitate to explore her less admirable qualities. Rather than trying to be too verbose, Holly is generally artful while preserving clarity. There are a few lines that could be considered a little cringeworthy, or you could find them charming and funny like I did.

Throughout most of the album, Holly focuses on the youthful hope love provides. There’s the romance novel scenes of kissing in the rain of the title track “Cruel World,” the long car rides of “Red Chevy,” and wandering the beaches with ice cream in “Blue Dream.” And then there is “Make It All Better,” which candidly asserts:

I wanna be old and gross with you, matching tracksuits on a treadmill
Stretchy skin, green tattoos, no regrets, I’ll fade out with you
No regrets, I’ll fade out with you

It’s not all joy either. Holly is honest about how her anxiety plagues her or how she self-sabotages her life and relationships. “Die Happy’s” chorus juxtaposes its gothic fairytale trappings with a car wreck. “White Noise” is a peak dancing-while-crying song that explores the shell-shocked feelings of leaving someone toxic. While other girls talk trash about her ex in the club bathroom, Holly stumbles up to the DJ, barely coherent through her numbness, and asks:

So play a sad song, DJ, I just wanna sway tonight
Since I lost my baby, all I wanna do is cry, and cry
I let my tears hit the floor
Time to get real, girl, you’re not in his arms anymore
DJ, I just wanna sway tonight

“Peachy” is one of my favorites from the record. It’s also its softest and most vulnerably produced. It opens with the imagery of walking in the rain. Holly is with a lover who has their future life completely planned out. She’s practically got keys to his apartment. For the first time in a while, the future seems bright. It should be romantic, warm, and full of contentment and company. Yet Holly is already watching the fairytale dissolve. She’s got something good, something worthwhile. But the doubt and anxiety of the modern world creep in to steal it away

So we drive to the coast
Hold my hand, hold me close
This is almost everything
Your eyes, your eyes
I couldn’t hurt you if I tried
You got somethin’ so delicate

And if it’s peachy now
Let’s not talk out loud
And nothin’ bad could ever happen

If you’re surefire, maybe I’m just tired
Can we just die laughin’?

Don’t put your faith in me
Don’t cut me a set of keys
God knows, I’m twenty-four, I’m still a baby
Don’t put your faith in me
Right now we’re all the rage
But how are you so sure that I’m your end game?

That’s the real pain of modern love and living. Sometimes, there are clear villains and the damsel is happily rescued to a loving home and all the knights are noble and good. And sometimes, as much as we want a beautiful moment to extend into forever, the world heaps on new anxieties, frustrations, and dramas. We aren’t as perfect as we’d like to be. We make mistakes and, like in “Drunk Dialing,” self-destruct. In that song, Holly entertains the gazes of “creepy dudes,” vows to forget her ex, calls him anyway, and wonders why she cannot move on.

You could look at this bleak reality and be cowed into despair. Or you could choose contentment in your finiteness, and as Holly writes in “To Love Somebody,” realize that maybe the journey is what really matters:

To love somebody
To hurt somebody
To lose somebody
Is to know you’re only human, honey
To love somebody
To hurt somebody
To lose somebody
Well, at least you got to love somebody

In the penultimate scene of the “Beauty Pageant” music video, Holly faces herself in the mirror of a vanity desk after disinterestedly performing a routine with her dancers. She grips the wood grain weakly and yet with determination. Her words are a promise to herself that, despite the insurmountable ache she currently feels, she’ll overcome the obstacles she faces.

I pray that one day I’ll turn and face the mirror with a smile (turn and face the mirror)
Away (and smile)
You’re gonna crush it, sweetie pie

Holly then hurtles herself through a pair of opening curtains into the night. It’s showering diamonds. She’s practically being hailed on. But she’s twirling freely, with a newfound confidence. The music swells dramatically, and Holly launches into the final chorus. Yes, she’s “too young, too sad, and too numb.” But despite her youth and inexperience, she’s going to follow her ambitions and dreams and find joy within them.

This is what you wanted, after all
Just don’t forget to have a ball

The world may be cruel, but Holly is ready to look it in the eye and strive forward regardless of it. Her movements are no longer slow and rehearsed. A smile breaks across her face, and she faces the camera one final time:

I won’t stop until you love me
Come on and make me pretty

Cruel World is rated an (8/10).

Jack Kaempfer’s Counterpoint:
Cruel World’s strength is Holly’s exploration of the tension between wanting to feel everything and being numbed by the world into a state of overwhelm. For Gen Z, life is far too often driven by the internet rather than real experiences. Cruel World captures our yearning for permanence amidst the anxieties of big life changes in the digital age. Some of the writing isn’t my favorite. The album can lean so heavily into the melodramatic, sad-indie vibe that it’s wallowing in negative experiences rather than chronicling them. Nonetheless, the soundscapes are beautiful, and Holly successfully encapsulates core experiences for her audience.

Tags –